Seether

Seethingly jealous today. I hate being jealous. I wish I could just be happy for myself and everything that I've accomplished. Alas, I guess it's human nature.

I wish I was like so many of my other chemo buddies and didn't gain any weight from chemo. Maybe I'd have more energy now. More confidence, because I'd still weigh 120 lbs. Doubtful. Because I thought I was so fat even then.

I really wonder what my life would be like if I'd never had cancer.

It's dumb to think about those things. It's up there with "if I ever win the lotto" or "What would the world be like if Hitler LIVED?"

I'm sure it would be vastly different than my life now. But would that really be better? And does my life honestly suck? No.

We all can't be twenty years old forever. And Joan Rivers knows, we definitely can't look twenty forever.

On a good note, here's my Halloween costume for this year.

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A Return

I have learned that blogging from a smartphone is "no bueno." I have, thankfully, found a way to use internet connection on said smartphone to allow laptop to connect to internet.

I have been having such a difficult time finding the time to blog. (One month between posts is unacceptable.) So, I am now going to blog before work, during lunch breaks... etc.

I recently made a Twitter post and I am waiting to see if anyone responds to it.

Am I the only person who is still bitter?

I seriously CAN'T be the only one here. You guys have gotta be angry about the big C. How it has effected your life.. taken people away from you... ruined your finances and shattered some dreams you had.

Will I EVER get over this? I mean, I HAVE gone through therapy... and I have my fellow Chemoturtles... but still. Its so raw.

Please comment below or tweet me @chemoturtles.

I need to know I am not alone.l

Remembering...

Are cancer survivors any different from those who have battled a war? There is still that feeling of guilt that I have survived while others havent. I have that constant feeling of worry that my luck may run out. I still get flash backs from all that happened. I cant watch "My Sisters Keeper" without bawling my eyes out. (It Hit too close to home, having been in my early twenties when I was sick.) I get reminded often that the scars are still very very shallow and raw.

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Officially summer!!

YAH! It's the first day of July. The weatherman is giving me good news. Sunny all during my 3-day weekend. My goals for July are:


1.Minimum of two posts on chemoturtles.org a week.
2.Work every day this month.
3.Start a Chemoturtles.org forum for conversation-starters.
4.Find more book suggestions, articles about cancer, and search for more interesting cancer sites and share them with you!




I am also going to suggest something for this summer that my doctor is always raving to me about: a kindle. My doctor, God love him, just can't shut up about his. I love how small it is. I can just put it in my purse and go. With how quickly I go through books... I need one of these things. Another bonus: they are green. (No trees killed to make your book!)

Suggestions for summer reading...

IF you are able to relax enough during chemo to actually read, I would suggest: